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Episode 247: Separating From Family Issues
Description
Commercial Voiceover Workout Sesh
Family and separating from family issues because when I think of back to life, back to reality, one of the things I think about is getting back to dealing with family issues and either the support or the lack of support or the lack of interest from family members in your acting career.
"We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary between ourselves and our nuclear family, and we can separate ourselves from their issues.
And I think that's amazing because I don't think I realized that I could separate my issues or anybody else's issues from me.
I thought anybody I spoke to their issue was my issue, and my issue was their issue. But that is highly codependent thinking and does not lead to a happy or successful life.
"Some of us have family members who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, or you know what, anything else, and they are not in recovery from their addiction. And some of us have family members who have unresolved codependency issues."
And I might also add those might be your unresolved codependency issues, which, when I think about the word codependency, I think of it in terms of I'm not all right unless you are all right.
And I judge how I feel based on you and just Tom Dicker, Harry Sue, Evelyn, Peter, whoever doesn't matter.
"Family members may be addicted, for example, to pain, misery, suffering, martyrdom, or victimization. We may have family members who have unresolved abuse issues or unresolved family-of-origin issues.
We may have families addicted to work, eating, or sex. Our family may be completely enmeshed or may have a disconnected family in which members have little contact."
And this is where it starts to hit. And I think the core issue here is that we may be like our family and love our family, but we are, and I want you to hear this because this is the biggest part.
We are separate—human beings with individual rights and individual issues.
One of the ways this was described to me is that if you have a highly enmeshed family, It's like a bowl of spaghetti, but nobody knows whose strands are who's.
It's one piece of spaghetti. It's so enmeshed that it feels, smells, tastes, sounds just like everyone else's issue in the family.
And also, when I say the word family, it could be community. Don't think that this has to be blood. It certainly doesn't.
Or your adopted family, your friends, or group of friends, keep in mind that's true too.
"One of our primary rights is to begin feeling better whether or not the other people choose to do the same."
O M G. Hallelujah. Let's sing it to the rooftops.
We have the right to feel better.
We have the right to our future. Whether or not other people in our lives