Alcohol dependence and ADHD with Faye Lawrence
Episode 171
My guest this week is Faye Lawrence who is the founder of Australia's largest alcohol-free community for the sober and the sober curious.
Their focus is not so much on the “not drinking” bit but more on the socialising without alcohol bit – which is a real struggle for most people after they quit.
They do dinners, bush walks, sober singles nights, live music and ever roller discos. It sounds like a way to find your vibe as a newly sober person.
Another reason I wanted to talk to Faye was because Research is now showing that there are definite links between Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)
Faye was recently diagnosed with ADHD and was keen to talk about it
In this episode:-
- Faye Explained that she’d been in therapy for years but it wasn’t until she stopped drinking that the healing began
- She calls sobriety a "portal for growth" - at Tribe Sober we often call it a "springboard for self development"
- The combination of alcoholism on both sides of her family and the influence of the boozy Uk culture resulted in Faye beginning to drink at 13
- She loved partying and found it enabled her to switch off her overactive brain
- She began working in London which of course meant joining the Work Hard/Play Hard culture
- Fay had kids quite young and then relocated to Australia
- Her drinking calmed down a bit after she had children but then ramped up again when she separated from her husband
- She felt isolated as had no family in Oz and hadn’t yet established a friend network
- With 2 young children and a full time job she was struggling to cope
- Her kids alternated between Fay and her ex for weekends and when her kids were away Faye just wanted to get obliterated for the entire time
- For the next 20 years Fay was stuck in the moderation trap – that dreaded cycle that so many of us know
- The cycle of trying (and failing) to cut down
- Now and again when she had overdone it she would go to alcohol counselling or an AA meeting or to her GP for naltroxene but her denial was strong and of course she didn’t WANT to give up
- Such a crucial point Faye made there – its no good trying to quit drinking because we think we should or because our partner or doctor has told us to – we have to WANT to quit and realise that we will be so much happier and healthier without it
- She describes herself as a functioning alcoholic – keeping the career and family going and ticking all the boxes
- But going to work with terrible hangovers multiple times a week
- In 2017 her relationship broke down and the kids left home – she was an empty nester and home alone
- That’s when she hit her rock bottom
- That’s when she realized she was no longer in control
- She didn’t care whether she lived or died
- She didn’t even want to drink and she realized the alcohol was no longer doing what she needed it to
- It wasn’t enjoyable, or quelling her anxiety or giving her a break from her overactive mind
- This made me think of the saying that “sobriety delivers everything that alcohol promised!”
- In spite of her rock bottom she still couldn’t stop drinking
- Faye’s trigger for change was a trip to her therapist who told her that she looked terrible and had to get some help
- She got admitted to hospital for a detox
- Faye pointed out that people will be listening to her story and thinking “well I’m not that bad” – she used to think like that but now she realizes that it’s a slippery slope
- If you’re on the slippery slope please be smart and step off it as soon as possible – go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe right now
- We both love the modern recovery movement and the fact that nobody has to walk into a room full of strangers and say “I am an alcoholic” these days
Published on 2 years, 5 months ago