Episode 363
Are you ready to have all your relationship questions answered by not one, but two couples therapists…who also happen to be a couple themselves?
Linda and Charlie Bloom are psychotherapists who have been married to each other for more than 50 years, and in this week's episode, they're spilling all their secrets about how to have healthy relationships – secrets from both their clinical training and their personal experience of building their marriage. This discussion is like getting weeks of counseling in just one hour!
We cover topics like: the role of self-worth in a relationship, how our partners can help us heal childhood wounding, the importance of asking for what we want and need, how to navigate conflict in a healthy way, what to do and not do during an argument, how to repair broken trust, what to do when your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship and the underutilized habits that create great relationships.
Though this is PACKED with information, we don't just talk about concepts but give you practical advice on what to do in these situations, from how to hack your brain for more productive conflict to how to appeal to your partner's self-interest to get the relationship you want.
Listen to discover:
● The surprising connection between self-worth and healthy relationships
● Why some people have trouble receiving love
● The importance of asking for what we want and need
● Why we marry people like our parents
● How to have healthy conflict in your relationship
● The three words you should never say in an argument
● How to get out of threat and fear states during conflict
● What "committed listening" is and how to show up with more presence
● What is required to rebuild trust when it's been broken
● What to do if your partner doesn't want to work on the relationship
● The most underutilized practice in relationships
My favorite takeaway from this episode is that the key to having better relationships is believing it is possible. It's so easy to get caught up in frustration, resentment and conflict and give up on a relationship that has potential (did you know most couples divorce without ever seeking therapy?). But we have so much power in our hands to change the dance of our relationships and make them work.
Though it takes two to tango and some relationships do end, Linda and Charlie give hopeful advice that will help you fight for your relationship instead of fighting with your partner – grounded in their own story of healing conflict and growing their love year after year.
"We can never give any more acceptance and appreciation to somebody else than we can give to ourselves...We can't give that experience of worth to another person if we haven't internalized it within ourselves." - Charlie Bloom
"We learn to love ourselves through relationships." - Charlie Bloom
"Don't expect [your partner] to know what's going on with you emotionally. That's your job to share with them what you need." - Michelle Chalfant
"When I grew some courage and started to ask [for what I wanted], I got loved in the way I wanted to be loved." - Linda Bloom
Published on 2 years, 7 months ago
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