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Grief is Love with Marisa Renee Lee
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GRIEF IS LOVE with MARISA RENEE LEE
“I don’t think we ever get over… these big losses in life… and I don’t think we’re supposed to.” — Marisa Renee Lee
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EPISODE SUMMARY:
Think about the most heart-wrenching loss you’ve experienced. Now think about the most magical love you’ve experienced. What do they have in common? A lot actually, it turns out.
Today we talk with Marisa Renee Lee, a grief advocate, author, former Obama appointee, and CEO of the DEI consultancy, Beacon Advisors.
She is also a Harvard graduate, and the former managing director of My Brother's Keeper Alliance; co-founder of the digital platform Supportal; and founder of The Pink Agenda, a national organization dedicated to raising money for breast cancer care, research, and awareness.
Listen in to hear about Marisa’s journey through grief and motherhood – two closely intertwined experiences for her, the push and pull between asking for help when grieving and having it offered, sociopolitical barriers to grieving, the role of friendships in grief, and how exactly grief is love.
Topics We Discuss:
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[3:48] Marisa’s book is a memoir of her own journey grieving her mother. Her mother had undiagnosed MS that left permanent damage because of a lack of care and was later diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Marisa spent much of her adolescence as a caretaker until her mother died. A pregnancy loss in 2019 finally pushed her to write Grief is Love.
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[8:28] Marisa finally started examining her grief over her mom because the void she found herself in from losing a pregnancy and not having her mom to comfort her was too painful.
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[10:29] Grief softens over time, but it still comes up even 15+ years later. Marisa allows herself time and space to grieve and does her best to take her own advice. When you’re missing someone, ask yourself what you are craving from that person and find a way to give it to yourself.
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[13:18] Asking for vs being offered help when grieving. There is a balance needed for both. Actions matter more than words. Do something for people that is either practical support or something that is a personal gift rooted in your relationship with the person. Sometimes