Episode Details

Annette Oltmans is here to help us better understand reactive abuse and reabuse. After having personal experience with an emotionally abusive husband and reabuse from her church and therapists, she is on a mission to help other women in similar situations. Let’s dive into the messiness surrounding reactive abuse, what we can do to protect ourselves from reabuse, and how we can heal. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• What reactive abuse is, what causes it, and why “reactive defense” might be a better term.
• What mutual abuse is (and why it’s is actually a myth).
• Why having a therapist who is an expert in the field of domestic violence is critical to your healing (and helps you avoid reabuse). 
• Different forms of reabuse, also known as “double abuse.”
• Why reabuse can cause C-PTSD. 
• How to avoid reactive abuse and reabuse. 
• What Vietnam War veterans and you have in common. 

Access the transcript, read the show notes, and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Annette has some excellent articles on her site that you don’t want to miss, including “What Most Miss About Reactive Abuse,” “Overt vs. Covert Behaviors (Relationship Examples),” and the one she mentioned in today’s episode, “How to Choose a Therapist for Your Troubled Relationship.” 
• If you’re in a difficult or abusive marriage or relationship, gain the clarity to navigate out of the maze of confusion and experience healing by joining M3ND’s relationship conflict course. Use the code FLYINGFREE at checkout for 25% off!
• If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
• I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list at https://flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download
• You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
• And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher at https://joinflyinghigher.com

Annette Oltmans is a celebrated author, speaker and founder of The M3ND Project, (TMP), a 501c3 organization dedicated to educating victims/survivors, therapists, faith leaders, and other responders on hidden emotional abuse and double abuse. Her personal experience with prolonged emotional abuse in her marriage and double abuse by therapists and faith leaders, along with her extensive field research and journey toward recovery, led her to develop training curricula, tools, and resources that comprehensively address these topics.