Podcast Episode Details

Don’t Wait for Rock Bottom - with Sam Delaney

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Episode 153

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Sam Delaney is a journalist and broadcaster.  I contacted him after I found his article in the Guardian saying that he is having more fun than ever now that he is sober – and he is 7 years sober just like me!

Sam hosts two podcasts himself – one of which is called The Reset, a podcast in which he chats to guests about mental health, addiction and recovery

He has just published a new book called: Sort Your Head Out -  Mental Health…without the Bollocks

In this episode:-

•  Sam’s drinking career got off to an early start when he would go to the park with his friends at the age of 12 – drinking cans of warm beer taken from parents houses
• He thought nothing of it – it was just what kids did – totally normalised
• We agreed that times have changed and that a lot of teenage drinking came from the fact that we had so much time on our hands in those days
• Time to drink, to smoke weed and getting into fights was a kind of hobby to pass the time!
• Of course these days kids spend much of their spare time online which has a positive side to it
• In real terms the stats tell us that the UK streets are safer than they were in the 1980’s, in spite of constant headlines about knife crime
• Sam’s drinking didn’t become problematic until his late 30’s when his lifestyle hit a perfect storm
• The combined pressures of his career, young family, hectic social life as well as maintaining his Jack the Lad identify left him exhausted
• Exhausted mentally physically and emotionally
• We talked about the “false narratives” that are common among drinkers and Sam’s internal narrative was that he was doing this for the family
• The drink and drugs were acting as fuel to get him through the day and night – the fun was long gone
• Another false narrative was that it wasn’t harming anyone – whereas in fact his wife was becoming increasingly worried
• If she expressed her concern he would become hostile and tell her not to try to control him
• We agreed that the term “rock bottom” was yet another false narrative and that the last thing we should do is wait for the rock bottom
• Far better to step off the slippery slope as soon as possible rather than think you are fine until you get to that place!
• We agreed that drinking feels like freedom at first but for some of us it becomes a prison and makes our life very small
• We lose the ability to enjoy everyday pleasures
• The example of not seeing the point of a walk in the country unless the destination was a pub says it all!
• Towards the end of his drinking Sam would wake up each morning feeling awful and resolving not to drink that day – but of course he always did. 
• He was trapped in the Groundhog Day prison of daily drinking
• He indulged in yet another false narrative – the one about if you’re drinking expensive wine then you must be a connoisseur rather than someone with a problem
• Of course whether a bottle of wine costs £20 or £8 its still ethanol!
• One day he booked a session with a therapist at the Priory and that started his recovery
• I love the fact that he chose what he calls a “hybrid” approach – a bit of AA, a bit of therapy, a lot of reading and most importantly community support and sharing.
• The modern recovery movement offers a pathway for everybody – and there is no reason why we can’t mix and match the various approaches
• We need to throw the book at our sobriety and do whatever it takes!
• With 7 years of sobriety Sam can look back on his journey and realises that he’d been white knuckling for the first couple of years
• It was onl

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  Published on 2 years, 9 months ago