Episode Details

Taxes do not pause for a divorce, and the year everything comes apart is often the year the numbers stop adding up. Paul Mendelsohn, a CPA in New Jersey, joins Lisa to explain what happens to your taxes when a marriage ends, starting with a problem people rarely see coming: the accountant a couple shared for years cannot keep representing both of them.

Paul Mendelsohn practices as a sole-practitioner CPA, working with individuals and small businesses around the country, and much of his value here is knowing when a tax question has crossed into territory that needs a forensic accountant or a divorce attorney. His caution comes back to self-preservation: you sign the returns, so the goal is understanding them before you sign, not untangling them years later.

Paul and Lisa work through the tools and the traps. How a spouse underreports income through a business or overstates expenses, and why the return alone will never show income that was never reported. Why filing separately during a divorce keeps you off the hook for your spouse's figures. What recourse you have when a CPA signs off on numbers with no documents behind them. And how to put yourself on record with the IRS when your ex claims a child they were not entitled to.

They also cover the longer arc. A qualified domestic relations order, or QDRO, that divides a retirement account without a taxable distribution, and Paul's advice to move that money once it is yours rather than let a plan lose track of you. Innocent-spouse relief for old joint returns. Head-of-household status and what it changes about your deduction and your brackets. And a piece of good news for someone leaving a long marriage: after ten years, and as long as you have not remarried, you can claim on an ex's Social Security without needing their sign-off.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• Why one accountant cannot represent both spouses once a divorce starts, and when that offer is a warning sign
• Filing jointly versus separately mid-divorce, and why joint puts you on the hook for their numbers
• How hidden or underreported income shows up, and when a forensic accountant is worth the money
• What to do when your ex claims the kids on their taxes before you file
• Innocent-spouse relief: your options on returns you signed without understanding them
• Confidential versus privileged: what a CPA must hand over under subpoena, and what an attorney doesn't
• How a QDRO divides a 401(k) or IRA without creating a taxable distribution
• Claiming on an ex's Social Security after a marriage of at least ten years

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why taxes matter in a high-conflict divorce
3:00 One accountant, two spouses: the conflict of interest
7:00 Getting years of returns, and a spouse who won't file
9:00 Unreported income and the forensic accountant
13:00 Confidential vs. privileged, and fraud on the returns
17:00 Who files first, and claiming the kids
20:00 Filing jointly vs. separately, and your credit
23:00 Innocent-spouse relief and the e-file sign-off
29:00 Head of household, and Social Security after divorce
33:00 QDROs, retirement accounts, and what not to do mid-divorce

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Paul N. Mendelsohn, CPA: https://mendelsohncpa.com/

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high