Episode Details

One of the hardest decisions when divorcing a high-conflict spouse is how and when to tell that person that you want a divorce. How will the person react? Will I be in danger? Will my life become a worse hell?

In this episode, Megan and Bill discuss this extremely relevant and important topic, starting with a question from a listener. They will discuss:

• What should you do if your partner doesn’t know yet that you want a divorce? 
• How should you tell that person? 
• How should you prepare?
• What should you say? Where should you say it?
• Should you have someone with me?
• Is it okay to stay at home after delivering the news?
• What to be aware of going forward.
• Should the kids be told in advance? Or when do I tell them?
• Should the kid’s school be notified?

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  • Calming Upset People with EAR: How Statements Showing Empathy, Attention, and Respect Can Quickly Defuse a Conflict
• AUDIO SERIES
  • High Conflict Separation & Divorce Basics: 13-part Series
• ON DEMAND COURSES & COACHING
  • New Ways for Families Online Class and Coaching
  • Conversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 Experts

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
• (01:17) - Telling an HCP You Want a Divorce
• (03:02) - Start With Preparing
• (07:32) - So Many Things to Think About
• (10:06) - What You'll Say and Where
• (16:29) - Should I Have Someone With Me?
• (18:02) - Should I Go Home Afterward?
• (19:22) - Going Forward
• (21:56) - When to Tell the Children
• (25:11) - Telling the School
• (26:44) - Wrapping Up
• (28:26) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Family Law in Israel with Guest Michal Fein