Episode Details

Long after the relationship ends, many survivors notice the harsh, second-guessing voice in their own head sounds a lot like the narcissist. Psychotherapist Chelsey Brooke Cole joins Lisa to explain how that happens, and how you take your own voice back.

It starts with pressure to move fast, warning signs that get waved away, and an occasional wonderful day that keeps you reaching for more. Over time you become a mirror, reflecting them back to themselves, until you're not sure who you are anymore. Chelsey and Lisa unpack reactive abuse and how it gets turned against you, why anxiety is a terrible foundation for any big decision, and the tell that a thought isn't really yours.

✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ How a narcissist's voice becomes the critical voice in your own head
✅ The early warning signs that get waved away as "just moving fast"
✅ Why the occasional great day keeps you hooked (intermittent reinforcement)
✅ How you slowly become a mirror for them and lose your own sense of self
✅ What "reactive abuse" is, and why it gets used against you
✅ Why anxiety is a terrible foundation for any major decision
✅ How to tell your own thoughts from the ones they installed
✅ The first steps to getting your own voice back

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 Meet Chelsey Brooke Cole
4:00 How the narcissist's voice gets inside your head
10:00 Warning signs and the pressure to rush
16:00 How control gets established
21:00 The good days that keep you hooked
26:00 Becoming a mirror, losing yourself
31:00 "I don't know who I am anymore"
36:00 Recognizing the voice isn't yours

CTA (spoken): Struggling to hear your own voice after a toxic relationship? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/ · When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183
Tags: narcissistic abuse, chelsey brooke cole, inner critic, gaslighting, reactive abuse, intermittent reinforcement, toxic relationship recovery, self worth