My Rock Bottom was Sex Work with Desiree-Anne Martin

Episode 131

My guest this week is Desiree-Anne Martin. Her addiction to drugs and alcohol kept her at rock bottom for two years – using sex work to fund her heroin habit.

Despite everything she managed to turn her life around and these days she is a happily married mother of two girls as well as a qualified addiction counsellor

At the age of 41 she published her first book – a memoir called “We Don’t Talk About It. Ever”

It’s an unforgettable book and by sharing her experience, strength and hope, Desiree-Anne has given many others a platform to speak out and to begin the road to recovery.

In this Episode

Desiree’s addictions began with slimming pills which she could buy over the counter here in South Africa. They contained amphetamines and she was on 10 a day, losing weight and full of energy!
She moved to the UK and was horrified to discover that she would need a doctors script to get these pills
Always on the lookout for something to give her a buzz Desiree turned to alcohol
She was drinking and comfort eating to keep her warm during the UK’s harsh winter.
Result was that she regained the weight she had lost which made her depressed.
When her UK visa expired she returned to South Africa and was delighted to discover that everyone she knew was now getting high at the weekends.
The rave culture had exploded and drug taking was normalised
It was the perfect sub-culture to slot into with her ever growing addiction
She was taking MDMA, Crystal Meth, LSD and Ecstacy
Just like drinkers she had her “rules” and vowed she would never take crack cocaine or heroin – but just like drinkers she broke that rule.
She fell in love with a heroin addict.
When he told her about his addiction she was unphased – she could cope – after all she’d seen the movie Trainspotting so knew how it all worked!
She stuck by him because her parent’s marriage had showed her that you stuck together “no matter what”
However the “no matter what” that Desiree was dealing with led to her trying heroin herself
She vomited after her first hit but she persevered! (as she put it)
It was like a warm blanket that blanked out all her emotions
It takes years, sometimes decades for people using alcohol to become dependent but hard drugs like heroin are a different matter
Desiree was hooked within a matter of week until eventually she needed it just to feel normal
Her daily struggle became keeping the withdrawal at bay
A friend dragged her to AA/NA – she did attend meetings now and then but was usually high – she would lie about her clean time because she wanted the praise
Her rehab journey began when her dad drove her out into the middle of nowhere to a rehab that Desiree describes as a concrete tank for people to withdraw from whatever they were taking – no support or rehabilitation included – just a few goats hanging round!
She managed to get expelled from that rehab for fraternizing
Then she went to live with her mom who did everything she could to control her (including locking her in)
All that interested Desiree was escaping so she could get her hands on some heroin
Eventually she ran out of resources to fund her drug habit so had to resort to sex work, which of course led to a lot of shame, which of course led to more drugs to cope with the shame – a terrible spiral to be trapped in
Her long suffering mother found another rehab – and finally things began to change
Desiree was so tired from secrets and shame which she felt were rotting her from the inside out that she began to “tell her story” – she began “speaking her truth”
She made the choice to get clean – to choose life – and she told her story over and over
This rehab worked because they taught her to speak her truth, which set her f

Published on 3 years, 2 months ago

Podcast Episode Details

My Rock Bottom was Sex Work with Desiree-Anne Martin