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You have 100% influence over the circumstances of your life!
Episode 106
Do things always seem to happen to you in life? Is that a perspective that you have, that as you go through life when unwanted events occur, that, these things are happening to you? I wanna share a different perspective with you. This got a great deal of discussion recently when it came up. Several years ago, I learned a very, powerful piece of wisdom. You could call it a nugget, but this isn't a nugget. It's more like a 10 ton boulder. My mentor, Jim Forton, was coaching me and he said you are in 100% influence of the circumstances of your life. And for most people who aren't in the personal development world, they jump right into the, oh my God, that's victim shaming. Nobody asked for cancer. Nobody asked to be mugged or, you know, whatever else. That's not the point of the statement. The point of the statement is that no one can make us think, feel, or believe anything about any situation in our life, unless we first choose to entertain that idea. People can make comments, but unless we choose to entertain that idea, then we're not going to adopt that idea. What this means is that we get to choose the meaning that we put on any situation.
[00:02:46] Now, when we're going through life and we are dealing with other people, they have free will and choice just as much as we do. And some of those people may do things that we find unpleasant, disgusting, unfair, downright heinous even. But, the only meaning that's on that is what we do. The only meaning that is on that is the meaning that we choose to give it So take, for example, let's just say there is a business contract, a client contract, and something happens and the person can't fulfill the contract, or it was almost done. But then at the last minute, the contract doesn't get signed. The client pulls out and it's like, 'Oh my God. Why does this always happen to me?' Well, number one, I don't do that, but for some people they do now, it's one thing to sit back and take an honest assessment of situation. And say, okay, what happened here? Is there something systems sales call, communicating the offer, the expectations, like, is there something here that needs to be improved? That's totally appropriate, but it's something else to say that, oh my God, this always happens to me. I'm attracting clients who… do this. Like why do they always find me? Well, maybe somebody just had bad situation happen. Maybe their finances changed. Maybe their needs changed. . We can either choose to allow ourselves to be at the mercy of other people's choices, or we can choose to be in command of the next steps. Right. So you could look at that situation and be in a pity party, and 'why is this always happening? People are always cheating me' or, I don't know. I could think of a lot of different examples. I don't wanna go down that rabbit. I don't like that negative energy in here, but to step back and say, okay, well, let's assess what happened here. Let's email this person. Let's find out if there are any gaps that we need to address and get a deeper understanding, that is being in a place of empowerment rather than living by circumstance.
[00:05:18] So whether it's something with my family, with my husband, with my business, with people that I do business with personally, when something comes up, I will ask myself: "Okay. What did I do to co-create this?" Maybe I didn't communicate clearly what my needs were. Maybe I didn't communicate clearly what my expectations were because if I communicated my expectations, clearly, maybe this person I chose to do business with would say, oh, we're not a fit. Maybe I didn't ask a question. I should have asked. That one has actually happened to me. I was in a situation where I did not know what I did not know. I was making an investment. I felt like it was the best investment for me. And in hindsight, I look back and I thought to myself, it would've really been nice if they had a process in place to do this gap assessment, because they thou
Published on 3 years, 2 months ago