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Calming Yourself Before Going Into Discipline
Description
“Why are you so mad all the time?” Do you ever hear this from your child? You probably don’t intend to look mad. You may not even be aware of your furrowed brow or irritated expression. And it’s especially hard to keep your cool in the heat of the moment when your child pushes your buttons.
But what message does your expression send to your child? Sure, you could try to put on a happy face and force a polite smile, but it’s not the most effective or long-term solution. So what can you do to keep things truly calm?
In today’s podcast, Jim and Lynne Jackson (Co-Founders of Connected Families) join Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to dig deep into an important principle of the Connected Families Framework. At the foundation level of the framework, you learn to move from “fast, large, and loud” to “slow, low, and listen.” This helps kids feel safe during discipline.
Often, parents leverage fear and intensity to “change” kids’ behavior. But kids read facial expressions more than anything else. Have you ever noticed your child looking at your face and listening to the tone of your voice to discern if they are truly safe?
So how do you show up safe for your kids?
At Connected Families, we start with the question, “What’s going on in me?” and “What does my child see on my face in times of discipline?” When you are able to do this inner work, your calm demeanor toward your kids can be a true reflection of a peaceful heart, not just a contrived calm. Then you can have the emotional capacity to help your struggling child. This will help guide them toward wisdom, connection, and grace, with true compassion.